For the Love of OutlanderFeb 05, 2024
I am a complete romantic. This means, my heart wants all the people who are in love to make it work. I want true love to be consummated in heart, mind, and body. If it doesn't work out and I think it's supposed to, my heart hurts. I literally feel a pang in my heart.
This is why I am so in love with the tv series Outlander. Seriously...Jamie and Claire are the epitome of two people, madly in love, who go through all the emotions...lust, anger, sadness, fear, loneliness, disappointment, rage, affection, empathy, concern, and some I'm sure I'm missing.
I'm on my third go-round of the series and can't seem to get enough.
Yes, there are some ugly scenes. War, torture, rape, theft, fighting, all the bad stuff.
I accept all that because it depicts certain aspects of history and reality about humanity. Never mind the time-travel. I can overlook all of that because of the love story entwined in the story by Diana Gabaldon. It's fascinating.
Here's the thing about lovers Jamie and Claire. For the most part, they are both extremely mature and level headed. They are each educated in their own talents. They are independent, respectful, kind to each other, supportive, and have each others' backs. They are also sometimes stubborn, determined, and make dumb mistakes. Through it all, they remain in love and come back to each other time and again. And the sex...oh man...this is one hot show.
Being truly in love is a rarity. I believe a marriage is perfect if two people are getting along 90% of the time, and the other 10% there is discord. Conflict is necessary in a good relationship. It helps us grow and learn more about ourselves and our partner. If a couple is getting along 50% of the time, and the other 50% is conflict, something is not right. Either the match isn't good to begin with, they are not truly in love, or they are missing one of the three necessary conditions for being a good partnership.
The necessary components of a good relationship are 1) chemistry 2) shared values 3) commitment to help each other and stay the course, which means a willingness to bend and learn from each other.
It's not true that you need to have a bunch of things in common. I can tell you from experience that my husband and I have very little in common. We like different food, we enjoy different activities, and he is an introvert while I am an extrovert. He likes camping, I like staying at resorts. We share one love language - quality time. My other love language is affection. His is acts of service. I am affectionate, he's not. I am emotional, he's not. That doesn't mean he doesn't like hugs...he just doesn't initiate them. It also doesn't mean he doesn't have feelings. He just doesn't wear them on his sleeve. He is steady, solid, loyal, and protective. But we do have conflict. Because we are individuals and have different ideas about things, we don't always see eye to eye. This is NORMAL!
As I write this blog post, I am preparing to offer my upcoming workshop, Love Mastery: Elevate Your Relationship Game. If you want to learn how to uplevel your partnership and all your other relationships, join me for this free workshop. If you're reading this after the fact, contact me if you would like the recording. I am making it available for a small fee.
In the comments below, let me know about your favorite love story!
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