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From Getting Coached to Self-Coaching

Jun 19, 2024

My first coach was yoga.

That may sound strange, but it is my reality. I started taking yoga in 2001 and in 2003 I began teaching classes.  I was 41.  I didn't actually hire a coach until 2019, when I decided to become a coach myself. I realized then that I needed to experience coaching in order to be a great coach. I have had at least five coaches since then.

Before taking yoga classes, I was all over the place emotionally, and I certainly wasn't in charge of my mind.

The more classes I took, the more I was able to manage my body, thoughts, and actions for a more smooth flowing life.

You might wonder how yoga helped me do that. Well, in yoga, we practice postures, otherwise known as exercises that are challenging, and we learn to breathe in the postures and also to witness our thoughts during those challenging times. It's like putting stress on yourself intentionally and seeing if you can manage the stress. When you practice yoga for 20 years, you get pretty good at managing all the things in your life and end up having less stress than that of other people.

Teaching also taught me a lot. Every time I taught a class, my students would share something or teach me something I didn't know, and it was then I realized everyone has genius.

I'm going to define Self-Coaching here. Self-Coaching is when your awareness level is so high, you can direct and focus your mental activity on what matters, and make the right decisions at the right time. This means with regard to what you're thinking at any given time, what your emotions are like, what actions you take (like what you say and what you do), and why you have the results you have in your life.

Self-Coaching takes a lot of practice. It is not something you learn overnight. Because of our lifetime of mental programming, we have a lot to uncover, understand, reframe, and re-learn. Lifetime programming consists of all our life experiences, all the thoughts we learned and believed, things people said to us that we believed, what our parents and society teaches us (there are so many things), and all the things we make up in our head, which are a LOT.

The only thing that is true is what's true. Period. But it can't be that simple, right? I is unbelievable to think that just believing in reality is what makes life better.

Let's just start there. Sitting with reality, being with reality, has its benefits. But do you see it? Reality I mean. Do you actually see it every moment of every day? Are you in acceptance of reality? Reality is what is. It's your current circumstances, it's what other people are doing. It is what is. I actually love the phrase, "It is what it is," because that is a statement of acceptance. But also, I want people to know that some things that are the way they are, may be changeable in the future. So being in acceptance of what is and then opening to the possibility of change is very healthy and helpful.

Very few people actually focus on what's real. We are too busy listening and watching everyone else instead of what we know to be real, which is inside of us.  For a lot of reasons, it escapes us.

This is where Coaching comes in. The coach helps you see what you don't see. Coaching leads us into what is real. It could be what is real in the world, and what is real for you. Wherever the coach leads you, it is for your benefit. It is for you to experience life with more joy and ease. Coaches help you have insight which is truly transformational.

Once you have the insight, learn the tools, and develop the skills to coach yourself, you enter into Self-Coaching. This is where you have regular conversations with yourself. It's like the angel sitting on one shoulder talking in your ear, but instead of the devil on the other shoulder cheering you on or talking you into doing what's not helpful, it's your higher self helping you make the better decision. It's the one who knows better. The one who will steer you in the right direction. The mature one. Your higher, highest self.

So, the message here is that if your life isn't running as smoothly as you'd like; if you are struggling in relationships, your marriage, your parenting, your financial life, or your career, then coaching might be the support you need to get things going in the right direction. Afterwards, you can self-coach. You'll be more equipped to go it alone - unless you have gigantic goals, like me. You might need coaching for longer, but guess what? You get to decide.

"Talking to Lisa was so helpful and assuring. She has a wonderful way of combining her compassion and empathy with realistic strategies for how to make small changes and see results. I felt safe to share with Lisa, as she is so nurturing and makes it her priority to help you. Lisa was also really helpful in describing her goals for helping and working with me. After our session together, I felt like I could identify the work I needed to do in order to get to where I want to be – I feel excited to get started and make some progress!" Alexandra Tse

In the event you would like some clarity, or you have big goals, or you just want support in moving forward in life, reach out and let's have a conversation. The conversation is my gift to you to help you get clarity on what your next steps could be given your goals.

Here's how!  Click the image below to book a call with me now.  

Seven Tips for a Sensational Second Half  - Free video series

My Golden Life Podcast - Episode "Finding and Using Your Voice in Midlife"